The Big Move.
When I started dating my boyfriend, Erik, in December 2008, we were living exactly 36 miles away from each other. That might not seem that far, but there is no exactly route between my place and his, so it usually took closer to an hour to drive and about forty minutes to take the train.
Then last summer, we discussed moving. We knew we weren’t ready to move in together but we knew that this hour long commute was draining, both physically and financially. Although we discussed moving to various parts of New Jersey and Westchester, at the end of the day, I ended up doing what I had dreamed of doing since I was in high school: I moved to New York City.
This meant that we now lived 28 miles away from each other and it takes a whopping forty-five minutes to drive between my place and his, or half an hour by train if I happen to catch the express.
Erik and I have been dating for almost a year and a half and we are tired of it.
So we made a big decision.
And Erik is moving to New York City.
But he’s not moving in with me.
(I totally had you going, didn’t I? Sorry…)
Call us old-fashioned but Erik and I don’t have any plans on moving in together in the immediate future. Maybe we will someday, but not right now. It’s something we have discussed at great lengths and it’s just not something we are interested in doing. Erik is moving to a different neighborhood in Manhattan than where I live, but he will be relatively close to me by subway and he will still be relatively close to where he works “upstate.”
Erik is officially moving to New York City this afternoon, but I probably won’t see the place until later this week after he is unpacked and settled. He is moving in with roommates – three of them! – so between my apartment and his apartment, we’ll be sharing our space with five other people. But when you live in a city of 8 million people, what’s a couple more? At least we have our own rooms! (Not everyone in this city can say that…)
After 16 months of packing up for the weekend or having Erik’s backpack hanging out in our living room, I am thrilled that we’ll finally be just a subway ride away. Being closer means that we don’t have to worry about Erik driving back to his apartment late at night. Running errands on our own during the weekend will be easier now that we’re not “entertaining” the other person.
Have you done long distance before? How did it work for you?