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Facing the Music.

September 10, 2009

Have you ever said you were going to do something, like, multiple times and you never do it? Even when you tell LOADS of people you are going to do it? But instead you just sort of forget, or you pretend to do it for awhile so it seems like you’re doing what you said you were going to do even though you really aren’t actually doing it.

That’s how I am with my diabetes sometimes. It’s my one (but not only) big annoying habit that doesn’t seem to go away. The truth is, I’m a bit lazy with my diabetes. I don’t test nearly enough. I don’t count my carbs as accurately as I should. I exercise but not regularly. I don’t change my basal rates or bolus ratios and I certainly NEVER DO BASAL TESTS. I mean, come on…

Okay, okay.

I admit it.

I don’t do everything I should be doing to manage my diabetes. And not wanting to do is a piss poor excuse, right? I mean, yes, I can hate it ’til the cows come home but that doesn’t make the diabetes any better (or go away) .

Today, Kerri announced she has reached a low, very respectable A1C. And it made me think that, even though it was really hard for her, and even though she has to sacrifice a lot to get there, she really wanted to accomplish this goal and she made it.

My A1Cs, on the other hand, have gone in the other direction. During college, and even during my first year or so on the East Coast, my A1C was in the low 7s. Nothing fabulous, but they were decent. I didn’t have to work too hard and things just fell in line together. But then work got busier, and I started to travel more, and eat out more, and I’ve moved twice since then and suddenly my blood sugars started to creep up and I went from a 7.1 to a 7.8 to an 8.4 and God knows what it will be next. I don’t really want to find out.

More than two years ago, I was thinking the same thing. I asked Kevin Perese to send me his legendary Excel spreadsheet to help with keeping track of my blood sugars. He sent it to me and I never used it.

I found the email again in my inbox (thanks to Gmail’s bottomless pit) and I opened it. I looked at it again and I think it would be very helpful. I recently started using an Excel spreadsheet to track my finances, and I think I could probably do something similar with my blood sugars. I’ll also use my Carelink system to look at trends in my CGM as well. If I’m going to be wearing the CGM I might as well use it to make overall directional changes in my blood sugars rather than just using it as a defensive tool against blood sugars that have already started to creep up.

My next A1C is on November 2. That’s a little less than two months away, but it’s just enough time to actually do something productive with my blood sugars.

I have had diabetes for 15 years. And I know what I should do. But I just need work on that whole “doing” thing.

  1. September 10, 2009 7:14 PM

    Good luck with it! My next one is a week from tomorrow. I’m already sweating it {:-X

  2. jill. permalink
    September 10, 2009 10:47 PM

    Allison! I hear ya!
    I so need to tweak my lunch ratio and daytime basals. You would think having a high almost every morning and a low almost every afternoon would make me change my settings, but nope. I act like it’s surprising each time it happens. It’s like I’m in the movie Groundhog Day…
    Good luck, you can do it!

    Use your CGM for goodness sakes!

    • September 10, 2009 11:05 PM

      Jill, I totally know what you mean! I’m the same way. Need to fix that. And I do wear my CGM (except for when I forget the transmitter and inserter at work, whoops). And it’s been helpful for catching a lot of highs but that doesn’t mean I’ve tried to prevent the highs! Not so good with that. I’m working on it.

  3. September 17, 2009 2:08 PM

    Good luck, Allison!

    With all the bluster and new demand for the logbook Kerri created, I think it’s going to give me a leg up to get back on the “log wagon”!

    Ever since I got on the Dexcom, I’ve just been running on auto-pilot. I don’t even download any data from either my meters nor my Dex. It’s called the zero-analysis approach, and guess what: It doesn’t work very well!

    • September 17, 2009 2:11 PM

      It’s called the zero-analysis approach, and guess what: It doesn’t work very well!

      LOL! That’s too funny. And so true.

  4. Colleen permalink
    October 8, 2009 9:48 AM

    Allison, what a great post. I totally get what you’re saying and just wanted to say that I feel you!

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