Love. Or Lack Thereof.
Over the past couple of days, I’ve been reading a lot of wedding blogs. The reason I’ve been reading them isn’t because I’m getting married but because I’m working on a project for a client that involves wedding photography.
Despite the enormous number of wedding blogs on the blogosphere (I’m pretty sure they outnumber the O.C.!), each one manages to retain a unique perspective, design and content (hey, kinda like us!). They are probably the most enjoyable blogs to read because they are so damn happy. I mean, it’s hard to have a melancholy wedding blog or an angry wedding blog. Weddings, by nature, are happy (okay, stressful, but happy) and so many of the bloggers are so effervescent and excited.
They make me want to be a wedding blogger.
I’ve maybe mentioned once or twice a fact about myself that I, personally, regard as a bit embarrassing: I’ve never had a boyfriend. No, really. Never. Yes, never. I’ve never even really dated anyone.
Now, before you get into the whole, “Oh, it’s okay, you should enjoy being single. Enjoy be free… blah blah blah, here’s the thing: I did enjoy being single. I’ve enjoyed being single for a very long time (23 years of enjoyment). I know the perks of being single. I mean, hey, being single was one of the keys in my ability to pack up house and move across the continent without having to ask permission from anyone. Being single is fine. For awhile.
But I’m twenty-three years old and I don’t remember the last time someone showed interested in me and quite frankly, it’s a little unnerving. I like to think I’m a perfectly normal, likeable person. I’m not crazy. I’m pretty enough, right? (Don’t answer that). I have all my teeth. I have a lot of friends. I can’t think of that many people who don’t like me.
I know that when I first moved here it was challenging to meet people, but my schedule is busy enough. It’s not like I’m all alone in a room all day long. I’m a contributing member of society! I go to church, I go to networking events, I’ve even tried online dating (multiple times and failed in multiple ways). Some people I know find their true love in high school. Other people met their signficant others when they were much older. I think the worst part of waiting is not knowing when it’ll be over. I don’t think it would be so bad if I just knew it was next month or next year.
Sometimes I blame the diabetes. I know, it’s silly and not true and probably harming me in the long run. But sometimes I really do think the reason no one likes me is because I have diabetes. Which is clearly not the case at all. Sometimes I think it’s my weight. I’m a size 14. But I also know a lot of big(ger) girls who fall in love and get married. So that can’t be The Answer to the Neverending Question of why no one wants to date me.
It was quite a coincidence reading Hannah’s post on Sunday because I had been thinking about writing this post for awhile now. Singleness. Loneliness. Maybe it’s the holiday commercials with couples walking through Central Park as the snow falls down. Those commercials are annoying after awhile.
Like most of my posts lately, I don’t have much of a conclusion. Unless you know a cute single Christian guy in the New York City area who doesn’t mind dating a Borg (hey, I have to use all my options!).