The Cheesecake Mystery.
It was a time of celebration, of merriment, of festivity.
The family has gathered
For a high school graduation.
It was a time of killing time.
The location: The Cheesecake Factory, adjacent to the mall.
The time: Saturday night.
So many people, we thought.
65-85 minutes, they said.
Mother napping in the car,
Brother (and the Boy of Honor) checking out video games,
The Grandmothers chatting on a bench,
The Sister trying on clothes she can’t really afford at The Limited.
Pants won’t fit,
Dress is hopeless,
But alas, two shirts!
Perfect for summer (humidity and all).
Time is almost up!
Quickly zip up jean skirt, adjust top,
Slip on the heels.
Beep! Beep! says the cash register.
With a flick of the wrist,
The receipt is signed
And off we go!
Dinner is filled with laughter and good food.
Salmon and pasta and chicken,
Slices of delicious cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory and
The biggest Chinese chicken salad you have ever seen.
Buzzzzz buzzzzz buzzzzz, goes the insulin pump
As it dumps in the contents of my reservoir.
Is there a “Select All” feature?
Cards have been read,
Checks have been collected,
Presents have been unwrapped.
Time for a blood sugar check.
5, 4, 3, 2, 1…
“Don’t you sometimes do two tests?” the Brother asks.
Furiously scrub hands in the sink,
Seeking to remove any sneaky cheesecake molecules.
Pat hands dry and
The feeling of utter failure and confusion begin to set in.
Override insulin pump, which suggests bolusing .6 units.
Something tells me: not gonna work.
Gulp down half a can of Diet Ginger Ale.
Trudge upstairs to the bedroom.
Change into pajamas.
Move insulin pump from pocket of jean skirt to
Pocket of hoodie jacket.
Notice trail of tubing down the side of my leg.
I am unplugged.
The dressing room…
Realizations begin to unfold and
The feeling of utter confusion is replaced with
The feeling of utter stupidity.
So, this is to say,
Ladies and gentlemen,
That dressing rooms are a
Very dangerous place.
And, in case you were wondering,
Or just joining us,
I am indeed
And in fact
(person with diabetes, yo)