I realize it was my fault that I lost my debit card because I’m haphazard and irresponsible and didn’t put it back in my wallet like the million and one other times I do.
I realize that because I lost my debit card I would not be able to purchase a train ticket to the city in the morning because I could neither find said debit card or credit card (the one time I really needed it!) nor did I have any cash because who carries cash???
I realize that because I had no debit or credit card or cash, I would have to wait until the bank opened to ask the teller to give me the money I need to take the train into the city.
I realize that because I had to drive to a Bank of America bank, I had to time my arrival precisely.
I realize that because I have terrible sense of timing, there is no way this was going to go well.
I also realize that because I can’t seem to put new insulin into my insulin pump when I notice it’s almost empty I then run the risk of realizing I have 18 units (approximately 15 hours) to last me nine hours in the city plus dinner at a fancy restaurant after I bought the train tickets.
I realize that after fourteen years I should know better than to forget something so important like the clear, smelly liquid that keeps me alive.
I also realize that after fourteen years I’m sick of having to remember. There is truly nothing like having your mortality stare up at you from a 1 by 2 inch piece of plastic (melodramtic? ya think?).
I realize that because I’m responsible (ha!) and not in the mood to forgo delicious food during a dinner meeting when that’s the entire reason I’m going into the city in the first place (!!!) that I now will now miss the train for the third time today.
I realize that because I drove back home to get a bottle of insulin (fresh and full of potency!), I have now missed the train which the tickets I purchased are for.
I realize that because I do not want to wait another minute I need to beg the train conductor to let me stay on the train, or hand over an extra dollar or two to make up the difference.
I realize that because I lost debit card, which was my fault, I have now lost two and a half hours of productive worktime for which I will make up tonight. Good-bye sleep.
I also realize that despite all my best efforts (erm, mediocre?), this is most likely not the last time something like this will happen.