When I was 10 years old, I wanted to run away from home. I don’t remember why I wanted to run away. I was a young, very young, and probably upset at something my Mom and Dad wouldn’t let me do or maybe it something they made me do. Like clean my room or something, because what 10-year-old wants to clean their room?

Anyway, I remember drawing up a map of my house and deciding I should leave in the middle of the night with a backpack. I could hitchhike and start a new life somewhere fresh, like Wyoming (I’ve always had a fantasy of living in a town of 200 people, working a roadstop diner. Strange dreams for a girl who lives in the largest city in the country).

But I also remember realizing that if I ran away from home, I probably wouldn’t be able to get a job, because I was a kid. And if I didn’t have a job, I wouldn’t have insurance. And without insurance, I would have my insulin or test strips.

And I would die.

I couldn’t afford to keep myself alive.

Seriously, what kind of kid considers insulin and test strips when devising a plan to run away?

But that’s what growing up was like. That’s what it has always been like. I remember when I first noticed on my Minimed insulin pump that when I had a LOW RESERVOIR alarm that it would actually count down the time until the reservoir would be empty, based on the amount of insulin you take per hour in your basal rate. I remember thinking it was a bit like a countdown to death, because without insulin, I would start to die.

Not that we’re not all dying. I mean, that’s a given. Everyday you are getting closer and closer to the day you die. But that’s just because we’re mortal and all things die. No one knows when that will happen, but we know it will. (Wow. I am morbid.) A couple of years ago, I asked my friend Christine how long a person could live without insulin. If I just suddenly decided to stop taking it and did absolutely nothing at all to help myself. She said about three days.

That’s a much more specific timeline.

This morning, on Twitter, there’s an article floating around from a man named Robert Steinback (at first, I thought it was Steinbeck and I wondered by the author of Grapes of Wrath who has been dead for 40 years was writing about diabetes in a Florida newspaper, but I digress). He has had diabetes just a bit longer than I have and like me, has been relatively healthy with diabetes – as healthy as one can be with a chronic condition such as this.

And he lost his job a year and a half ago. So now he’s on COBRA. Except COBRA is going to run out in February. And no one wants to give him a job so he can have insurance, and no insurance company wants to give him insurance because he’s expensive.

I mean, what the hell kind of society do we have set up where people are like NO ONE WE DON’T WANT TO KEEP YOU ALIVE BECAUSE WE LIKE OUR SUMMER HOMES IN THE HAMPTONS MORE THAN YOU!

Sometimes I think the people who came up with these policies are so evil that not even the Devil would want them.

We all know someone who is struggling in this economy. For me, it’s Lee Ann Thill, who is also almost up with her COBRA coverage. But for her, she is married and has the option, at least, to buy into very expensive insurance.

Robert doesn’t even have that option, because he isn’t married.

A long time ago, I remember watching a movie about a French man who married a woman to get a Green Card to stay in the United States and have a better life here. Now there are people talking about marrying so they can get an Insurance Card so they can simply have a life.

Living should not be something I need to ask someone for permission. A healthy life is a right, not a privilege.

When I was getting ready to graduate from college, a lot of my friends were discussing their options for post-grad work. Some people were going to grad school. Other people were packing up and heading to Europe for backpacking. It was the 22-year-old’s version of running away. One girl I know just quit her job 3 months ago to backpack around Europe. When my mother was 22 years old, she also graduated from college and spent a few months in Europe. I wanted to do this too. Financially, I would have been able to do it. But I couldn’t. I wouldn’t have had insurance anymore – because I would have been kicked off my parent’s policy for not being in school anymore – and I need insulin. Throughout high school and college, my mom always told me, “You need to get a good job. You need to get health insurance.”

Instead, I got a job. With health insurance. I managed to make things pretty fantastic for myself, living and working in one of the greatest cities in the world and generally being really happy with things. Because that’s what I do: make lemons out of lemonade. But I never forget that I gave up Europe for my diabetes, and that my existence is primarily reliant on my employer, my health insurance that I receive through being employed, and those tiny bottles of clear liquid that have taken up residence in my butter compartment.

Today I’m speaking to a group of parents about raising a tween-slash-teen with diabetes (teens are 13-19, tweens are 11 and 12 because Britney Spears and Miley Cyrus have ruined the fabric of America’s youth – just sayin’). Because I have a very busy full-time job, I’m actually writing this the night before.

I was once a teen with diabetes. It was not that long ago, so I remember it quite well. Every so often, someone will ask me what is the hardest part of being a teen with diabetes. And I say, “The being a teen part.”

The truth is, having diabetes goes against the very nature of a teenager: It requires responsibility, it requires truthfulness with parents and other adult authority figures, it requires denial of pleasure, it requires doing things that others are not doing, and it causes potentially embarrassing situations, such as collapsing in the band building from a low blood sugar after a football game and having the band instructor shove an applesauce container in your face right after your friend forced you to drink some kid’s half-drunken root beer. And you don’t even like root beer! What, that’s never happened to you?

The difficulties of having diabetes are no surprise. Everything is a guessing game and it’s a frustrating, no-win guessing game. It’s no wonder that teenagers routinely say, “Screw it!” and jump off the bridge with everyone else. Jumping off the bridge is easy. Easy is good when you’re a teen. You don’t like hard. Hard is calculus exams and Shakespeare.

I have been a volunteer with the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation’s Online Diabetes Support Team (try saying that three times fast!) for the past seven years, since it was launched during the winter of my senior year in high school. Since then, I have answered countless emails from parents and teens about how to manage diabetes during these crucial formative years. While I spent the better part of my college years counseling teens through my website Diabetes Teen Talk (now owned and operated by dLife), I haven’t spent as much time counseling parents, except through my blog and the occasional diabetes support group meeting.

Here are a few things you should know:

Relax. No, seriously. Take a deep breath.

Learning to manage diabetes is like learning to drive a car. Everyone can do it, but if you don’t know what the hell you’re doing you can kill yourself or someone else. It’s a bad, bad idea to jump in without having proper instruction and regular follow-up.

Work with your teen, not against him. Your teen will have his own learning curve for managing diabetes. It took me a year and a half to get my driver’s license. It took my brother about six months. Everyone is different but we are all doing the exact same thing.

Your teen is afraid of disappointing you. They do not react well to anger or threats or groundings or anything else in your arsenal. Remember, your teen did not choose to have diabetes either.

Communicate regularly, but don’t nag. Discuss – calmly – the situation and your options (see advice #1). In the 21st century, there are new ways of managing your diabetes, from smaller meters to concealed insulin pumps to decorative stickers to personalize medical devices. Discuss with them the difficulties they are having – they are aware of problems but they may be afraid to ask for help. No yelling. Your teen wants your help (no, really, I’m serious) but they don’t want to be blamed.

Every teen will want their independence at different times. Do not let go too slowly or too quickly. Some teens actually want your help, because diabetes is hard! Others are more keen on working independently – but they still want you as a resource too. Work with your teen to troubleshoot the situation. Keep them involved – ask them what they think, what they know, what they want to do. They’re smarter than you think, and they’ll appreciate your confidence in their ability to make decisions. They will learn best from doing.

But always make sure you know what their decision is before they do it (they are teens, after all!).

Accept the fact your teen will probably forget to do something regarding their diabetes at least once. Probably more than that. They’re also probably going to lock themselves out of the house, forget their homework and fail that calculus exam. Shit happens.

Children with Diabetes says, “Remember that kids with diabetes are still kids.” Remember that teens with diabetes are still teens. They crave freedom, they want a car, they want to date and they want to go to college wherever they damn well want to. Work with them to help them achieve their dreams and goals and desires because diabetes should never make someone feel like they are different or not good enough.

Allison as a teenager, age 15, at JDRF Children’s Congress ‘01.

Happy Day After Thanksgiving! Did anyone brave Black Friday? Erik, his mom and I were in Union Square earlier to have lunch at Max Brenner’s (I’m not sure why we chose to do a big meal the day after Thanksgiving but so it goes…) and it really didn’t seem any crazier than it usually is, and there are a lot of shops and a holiday market there. I’m sure the department stores in midtown were a madhouse though, so I’m glad I didn’t even bother. I’m planning on doing most of my shopping online anyway.

Tonight Erik and I are going to the Opera with his mom. I am SO EXCITED. I have never been to the opera before and I am really excited to finally go to one. We’re seeing Le Nozze de Figaro. In a couple of weeks, Erik and I are seeing Radio City Christmas Spectacular, so we’re doing all kinds of culture these days!

Plus, we’re doing our fair share of traveling again. Although I’m not going home for the holidays, I’m leaving for Las Vegas tomorrow and next weekend, Erik and I are heading down to Washington D.C. to see one of my best friends from high school who is in town on a business trip. I love excuses to travel to other big cities on the East Coast. I haven’t been to D.C. since August 2008, so I’m thrilled to be going back. I love D.C.

Hope you have a wonderful rest of your holiday weekend!

And it’s a Monday of a three-day weekend which means it’s an AWESOME week. But I have so much going on it’s not even funny.

Tomorrow, my boyfriend’s mom is coming into town for the week, and we’re going out to dinner after she gets in. On Wednesday I have to go to JCPenny’s and buy at least one, if not two, new holiday dresses for my company party in VEGAS next week and then my boyfriend’s company party the following week. And shoes. Have to remember the shoes.

Then on Thursday, we’re planning on staking out some space in front of the biggest holiday tourist trap in New York City: The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. But it’s on my 101 Things to Do List which means I HAVE to do it and then I never have to do it ever again as long as I live. Or at least until I have kids. But I live 3 blocks from the parade route so I feel like I should at least try to see it, you know? I mean, I could probably stand in front of my apartment and I would be able to see it. (Not really, I’m not that close). Afterward, I might go run around Central Park or something in order to bottom out my blood sugars before scarfing down as much as I can at dinner. Not really. I would never do something so stupid as to make myself have a low blood sugar (or would I? … No, I wouldn’t. That’s… dumb. Really.). Then on Friday we’ll be doing some touristy stuff around town before we go to the OPERA. Which is another thing on my 101 Things List! I am on a roll! With butter!

Then on Saturday I LEAVE FOR VEGAS. And I get to see MY BEST FRIEND FROM HIGH SCHOOL. Which means I am SO FREAKING EXCITED I CAN HARDLY STAND IT.

!!!!!!

CAP LOCK FTW!

And I’m there until Wednesday, when I take the most horrendous flight ever because the only flight that leaves in the evening from Vegas gets me into J FREAKING K airport at MIDNIGHT. And I have to work the next day. Which makes me kinda sad, except my commute is only like 10 minutes so I should still get like 6ish hours.

So that’s not quite as suck-ass as it could be… But then I only have to work Thursday and Friday before it is the weekend again! Yay!!!!!!!!! Exclamation mark x 1,000.

Lots going on. I hope everyone else has a wonderful and restful Thanksgiving weekend and I’ll catch ya tomorrow.

There’s a Thanksgiving meme floating around these parts, so I figured I’d jump in and share my own! Gobble gobble!

1. What are the traditional favorites?

Turkey, stuffing, candied yams and marshmallows (my favorite!), and pumpkin pie.

2. What new recipes will you try this year?

I’m not trying any new recipes this year because I’m not cooking! But we’ll be visiting my boyfriend’s half-sister and her husband, so there may be new foods on the table yet.

3. What part of the meal do you never compromise?

Pumpkin pie. Last year, at my cousin’s house, they didn’t have pumpkin pie and I was distraught. So afterward, I went to my local A & P and bought a pumpkin pie for myself. I didn’t eat the whole thing in one go, of course, but it satisfied my need to pumpkin pie. I only eat it once a year and I’ll be damned if I miss out!

4. Who gets to carve the turkey?

The one who won’t cut off their arm in the process (basically anyone but me). Usually the “man of the house.”

5. Family style around the table or buffet style and everyone sits wherever there’s room?

A mix of both, mostly because our dining table never had enough room for everything. Items that were on the stove were usually left on the stove, while other things like salad, cranberry sauce and rolls were on the dining table. But there’s nothing like seeing a long dining table brimming with yummy food! I feel like that’s part of what makes Thanksgiving special and not just any regular dinner that is dished up in the kitchen.

6. How many will be at your table this year?

Five of us – me, my boyfriend, my boyfriend’s mother, his half-sister and her husband.

7. Three best pies for Thanksgiving dessert?

Pumpkin pie. Anything else is a waste of perfectly good insulin, as far as I’m concerned.

8. Cranberry sauce… yay or nay?

YAY! Luuurve cranberry sauce of any kind. 

9. What time do you eat Thanksgiving Dinner?

Dinnertime? Is this a trick question?

10. Favorite leftover?

I don’t usually like leftovers, actually. They never taste as good as the original meal, so I’m always left feeling disappointed (it’s also why I never make big meals to have leftovers for lunch – I just don’t like leftovers!). But pumpkin pie usually tastes the same, since you’re not reheating it, so I’ll go with that.

I don’t seem to be terribly good at keeping up with the NaBloPoMo this time around. I completely missed it last Friday, and I barely managed to eek out a sentence the Friday before. All I can say is that I’m simply not used to blogging this much and I’m finding it difficult to say very much every day.

A few items of note:

• World Diabetes Day was a smash success, but I’ll have more details on that tomorrow.
• I am officially visiting my fourth (out of five) new states planned for my 101 Things in 1,001 Days Challenge. This time: Nevada. I’ll be visiting Las Vegas for about four days at the end of November-slash-beginning of December. My new company hosts a yearly retreat for all their offices, and we’re converging on Vegas this year. I’ll be flying in a couple days before that, though, to spend time with a dear friend from high school.
• Next week, my boyfriend’s mother is visiting from Minnesota for the Thanksgiving holiday. We have plans to spend the big day at Erik’s half-sister’s house, and I am once again looking forward to not having to cook. I know this will only last for so much longer, so I’m trying to enjoy each and every stress-free holiday I can get! We’re also going to be hitting up the Metropolitan Opera, which I am oh so excited about. I’ve never been to the opera before and I can’t wait!
• In December, my mother is coming to visit me after the Christmas holiday, so Erik and I will both be celebrating the holiday sans traveling. I’m trying to convince Erik to take me to the Radio City Christmas Spectacular with the Rockettes. Either that, or we’ll see The Nutcracker. I want to get as much holiday cheer as I can this year, considering I’m spending the entire month in New York City.
• Erik and I are also coming up on our one year anniversary on December 13. I can hardly believe it’s been a whole year already, neverminding the fact we’re about to enter into a whole new decade! Where does the time go?

I hope everyone’s holiday plans are coming along swimmingly! Good night!

It’s Friday! I’m so excited that it’s finally the weekend because my DAD is town on a business trip and he’s staying through the weekend. We’re going to see In The Heights on Broadway tonight. My dad has never seen a Broadway show actually on Broadway (always on tour elsewhere) so we’re excited. This, of course, is my fourth show this year so I’m sort of whatever. Just kidding! I’m excited too. I love Broadway. Which you know.

What are we doing the rest of the weekend? Heck if I know. Mother Nature is not playing nice and threatening the Northeast with a bunch of cold soppy weather. No fun at all! But it’s exactly the same weather in Oregon so my dad is screwed either way. Haha. We’ll probably do a museum or movie. Something indoors where it’s warm.

What are you doing this weekend to stay warm and dry?

OK, second post of the day, but I love memes. Yay!

This Meme was stolen from George, Lee Ann and Kerri

1. I’ve come to realize that my chest-size… is fine the way it is, thankyouverymuch.

2. I’ve come to realize that my job… is something I’m very grateful to have.

3. I’ve come to realize that when I’m driving… I’m really grateful I don’t have to worry about having my own car anymore! Yay city life!

4. I’ve come to realize that I need… only my family and friends to be happy. And chocolate.

5. I’ve come to realize that I have lost… so much time worrying about things that I have no control over.

6. I’ve come to realize that I hate it when… I don’t know that I did something wrong because people won’t tell me, they’d just rather act mean and snippy with me. I CAN’T APOLOGIZE IF I DON’T KNOW I OFFENDED YOU. I AM NOT A MIND READER!

7. I’ve come to realize that if I’m drunk… I might as well be asleep. Because that’s where I’ll be in five… four… three… zzzzzz….

8. I’ve come to realize that money… is nice to have, but it’s not the only thing in this world.

9. I’ve come to realize that certain people… just don’t know any better.

10. I’ve come to realize that I’ll always … be an Oregonian.

11. I’ve come to realize that my sibling… will be 20 years old in January and that freaks. me. out. God, I am so old…

12. I’ve come to realize that my mom… is incredibly hard-working.

13. I’ve come to realize that my cell phone… is what made me an unwitting Apple fangirl.

14. I’ve come to realize that when I woke up this morning… I really need to buy an air conditioning unit for next year.

15. I’ve come to realize that last night before I went to sleep… I love weddings and I’m really happy for my friend who just got engaged!

16. I’ve come to realize that right now I am thinking… how much stuff I have to do!

17. I’ve come to realize that my dad… may be corny, but he’s my dad and he’s awesome.

18. I’ve come to realize that when I get on Facebook… nothing has been updated in the last five minutes since I was on it.

19. I’ve come to realize that today… is the beginning of the rest of my life.

20. I’ve come to realize that tonight… I’ll relax and maybe do some shopping.

21. I’ve come to realize that tomorrow… is another day to reach for my dreams.

22. I’ve come to realize that I really want to… start a new blog, which I’m currently working on.

23. I’ve come to realize that the person who is most likely to repost this is… reading this right now.

24. I’ve come to realize that life… is all about love.

25. I’ve come to realize that this weekend… is my first full weekend with Erik in two weeks!

26. I’ve come to realize that marriage… is something I’m REALLY looking forward to.

27. I’ve come to realize that my friends… are still there for me, even when we’re far away from each other.

28. I’ve come to realize that this year… has been so totally awesome.

29. I’ve come to realize that my ex is… non-existent!

30. I’ve come to realize that maybe I should… get back to work.

31. I’ve come to realize that I love… string cheese. It’s true. I’m addicted.

32. I’ve come to realize that I don’t understand… Swahili, Japanese or CSS.

33. I’ve come to realize my past… makes me who I am today and I wouldn’t change a thing. Well, maybe I’d have more cake.

34. I’ve come to realize that parties… stress me out and I’d much rather hang out at a nice wine bar with a couple of friends and gab the night away.

35. I’ve come to realize that I’m totally terrified… of losing more people I love (RIP Uncle Richard and Aunt Pearl)

Our first trip to Oregon was a wonderful whirlwind, taking Erik and I from downtown Portland, to the Oregon Coast and then up to the Mt. Hood in the Cascades. We did quite a bit of driving for a four and a half trip but it was a great way to ring in my 24th year (I still can’t believe I’m in my mid-twenties…).

The flight out of Newark was at 7 a.m. which meant getting up so early there wasn’t any traffic on my street (NEVER happens), so despite arriving early enough to enjoy a full day, Erik and I succumbed to a two and a half hour nap. Wednesday, therefore, was a simple day, chatting with the folks and enjoying dinner with my parents and younger brother, who was in town for my birthday (he is spending the summer in the town where he goes to college, about an hour from my parent’s house). My parents had done some SERIOUS redecorating of our house, to the point where it doesn’t much look like my house except for the layout (no walls were knocked down… yet).

Thursday was my birthday! Erik and I spent the better part of the afternoon meandering around Portland, buying books at Powell’s Bookstore, drinking coffee at Peet’s, and taking pictures of some Portland landmarks. Since the weather was kinda crummy (low 70s, but overcast), we canceled our reservation for a restaurant on the 30th floor of the U.S. Bank Corp building and instead went to Claim Jumper over by Clackamas Town Center. It’s a great restaurant, and although it’s a chain, there are none near me so I don’t feel too guilty about it (it’s not like Applebee’s!).

On Friday, my dad drove us to Thrify, where Erik and I picked up a car to use for the weekend. My parents have one car each, plus my brother’s car, so we would have left someone stranded if we didn’t get one for ourselves. Erik and I drove to Tillamook, where we hung out at the cheese factory for awhile before driving to Rockaway Beach to take some pictures, then Cannon Beach to buy taffy and look at art galleries, and then finally to Fort Clatsop, which, historically, is the final destination for Lewis and Clark (you know, those guys who discovered Oregon?). After that, we drove back to Portland for dinner at Montage, a funky cajun restaurant with family-style seating and an art-deco mural of the Last Supper that features a flying saucer. I love Montage.

Erik and I at Rockaway Beach

My brother had already left by the time we got home on Friday, so on Saturday, it was just my parents, Erik and I who drove up to the Gorge and Mt. Hood. We saw Multnomah Falls, Bonneville Dam (where we said hello to some rainbow trout and sturgeon), Hood River, and the historic Timberline Lodge at Mt. Hood, before driving back to grab pizza at a new pizza parlor across the river from my hometown.

Erik and I at Multnomah Falls

The sun FINALLY came out on Sunday, so we were able to enjoy a nice warm day at the Bite of Oregon and Portland’s Saturday Market (which, yes, operates on Sunday, too). We also grabbed a few donuts from the infamous Voodoo Doughnuts (don’t worry, we split one and saved the others – we didn’t want to spoil our appetites before dinner!). Afterward, inspired by our trip to Bonneville Dam, my dad cooked up some salmon, sturgeon and oysters for dinner, which, coupled with all the chicken and pork I had at the Bite of Oregon, was way more protein than I needed, but at least my insulin intake was lower!

Listening to some musicians at the Saturday Market

Our flight out of Portland was delayed a couple of hours on Monday, so we managed to get home just after one in the morning. I have declared I shall never take a flight scheduled to land after 6:00 p.m. The extra hours of vacation are seriously not worth the sleep deprivation.

Bye-bye Portland!

So that was my birthday trip, and Erik’s inaugural trip to Oregon (and his first time meeting my mom and brother). He liked Oregon. And my family. Both very important things.

Erik, who is allergic to cats, also managed to survive Emma. Not an easy accomplishment…

Today is my uncle Richard’s birthday. But he won’t get to celebrate it. Last night, he passed away after a year and half long battle with cancer.

Thanks.